Barack Says Young Men Need ‘Gay Friends’ To Learn ‘Empathy And Kindness’
Former President Barack Obama said on his wife’s podcast this week that men need homosexual friends to acquire “empathy and kindness” as they prepare to father a youngster who identifies as gay or non-binary.
During an episode of “IMO,” a podcast hosted by former first lady Michelle Obama and her brother, Craig Robinson, the former president spoke with the two about how to raise boys.
During their hour-long discussion, Barack Obama suggested that boys need male figures in their lives other than their fathers to provide perspective before pivoting to explain the influence one of his gay professors at Occidental College had on him.
“No matter how good the dad is, he can’t be everything, and then that boy may need somebody to give the boy some perspective on the dad,” Obama said.
“One of the most valuable things I learned as a guy was I had a gay professor in college, at a time when the gay folks still weren’t out, who became one of my favorite professors and was a great guy and would call me out when I started saying stuff that was ignorant,” he added.
Obama went on to imply that men need gay friends and role models like his professor to “learn positive personality traits.”
“You need that to show empathy and kindness,” he said. “And by the way, you need that person in your friend group, so that if you then have a boy who’s gay or non-binary or whatever, they have somebody that they can go, ‘OK, I’m not alone in this.’”
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Barack Obama says young boys need a gay man in their life for guidance and that having only a father around isn’t enough.
— Shadow of Ezra (@ShadowofEzra) July 17, 2025
He believes being around gay men helps boys develop emotional awareness, empathy, and a broader perspective.
Obama recalled that one of his most important… pic.twitter.com/uq4xfXxpSH
In his 2020 memoir, “A Promised Land,” Barack Obama recounted the influence Lawrence Goldyn, his gay European politics professor at Occidental College, had on him.
“Once I got to college and became friends with fellow students and professors who were openly gay, though, I realized the overt discrimination and hate they were subject to, as well as the loneliness and self-doubt that the dominant culture imposed on them,” he wrote. “I felt ashamed of my past behavior — and learned to do better.”
Barack and Michelle Obama also addressed the viral divorce rumors with humor, as the former president joked that his wife “took me back.”
“She took me back!” Barack Obama quipped on the “IMO” podcast hosted by his wife and her brother Craig Robinson. “It was touch and go for a while.”
Michelle Obama’s absence from high-profile events—such as President Donald Trump’s inauguration and Jimmy Carter’s funeral—fueled online speculation that her marriage to Barack Obama was in trouble. While the former first lady had previously addressed the rumors in separate interviews, this marked the first time the couple publicly discussed them together, Fox News reported.
“It’s my husband, ya’ll!” Michelle Obama said to begin the podcast. “When we aren’t [in the same room], folks think we’re divorced.”
Robinson recalled that the rumors had spread so widely, one woman in Kansas even asked him, “What did he do?” referring to the 44th president and speculating he had driven Michelle away. He said she was relieved to hear the rumors were unfounded.
The former president acknowledged that he was not aware of the gossip, stating that he usually avoids being involved in online discussions.
“There hasn’t been one moment in our marriage where I’ve thought about quitting my man,” Michelle said. “We’ve had some really hard times. We’ve had a lot of fun times, a lot of adventures, and I have become a better person because of the man I’m married to.”
“Don’t make me cry now,” Barack said. “Don’t let me start tearing up now.”
